Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
