yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
