i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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