He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
