you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
