Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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