I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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