I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize