dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
