fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
