Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
