Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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