He kissed a someone with a penis
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
