would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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