I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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