Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
