I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
