She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
