Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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