When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
