Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
PANTIES FOUND
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
