Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
