I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
