Your dad touched me again.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
