Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
