i was born a porn star she said
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
