i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
the day after is always just damage control
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
you never un-have a 4some
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
