your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
