She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize