he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
