You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
