Walk of Shame. In a state park.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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