Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize