In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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