my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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