my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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