Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
