the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You had me at "let me see your balls"
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
