Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
the liver wants what the liver wants
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
