Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
