I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
