just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
