We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize