Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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