WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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