smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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