need another drink. this is the easiest way
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
