I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
