Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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