well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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