I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It was like getting head from an anaconda
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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