So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
