Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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