you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
