dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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