I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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