Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
