fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
