You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
