the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
