you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
