you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
