3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
