So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
